Don’t blink

Image result for free images holding hands parent child

Tonight I realized something with a giant thud in my heart. My kids never need (or want) me to read out loud to them anymore. The last book was read who knows when. But no one warned me to read slowly, savoring the snuggled bodies tucked in next to me, because it was the last time.

I then realized there was no warning about the final time I’d carry a sleeping child from the car, her body heavy and limp, warm and trusting. I didn’t know to hold on for another minute before I gently laid her in bed.

There was no heads up when it was the final “Mommy!” yelled with delight as I walked in the house after a long day at work. No chance to take my time with an embrace so exuberant it almost knocked me off of my feet.

I didn’t know to savor the last bath when my girls needed help rinsing shampoo from their bobbing heads, avoiding splashes as they giggled and squirmed in the water like slippery mermaids.

Oh! This means the moments I have now are also as fleeting as a lightning bug’s glow on a summer night. I can still cherish the nightly snuggles, as my girls allow (and encourage) me to tuck in next to them in bed. They continue to delight in that time, whispering their secrets and fears, turning their bodies into mine.

I better not turn down the chance to play another hand of cards, or throw the Frisbee outside.

I should try not to blink, as the girls sit side by side at the piano, composing songs together and laughing with delight at their harmony. Don’t blink as they hop in the car after school, smiles beaming at me, as they shed off another tough day.

I most definitely need to hold tightly to their still-soft hands, as both will reach out to grab my hand on a family walk (if no one is around). I will squeeze those precious hands, still small and tender. I might just… Never. Let. Go.

One Response to “Don’t blink”

  1. stillorphans Says:

    Very poignant! My hardest last will be the last time I pick up my child to carry him.

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