“No Wimpy Parenting” talk about sex with your kids

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I recently did a “No Wimpy” segment on My Carolina Today about talking with Talking with your kids and teens about sex.   Click here to watch the video.  It is fair to say that talking with kids and teens about sex is not for the faint of heart.  Many parents would do just about anything to dodge having that discussion with their kids.  The fact is, kids are learning about sex at younger and younger ages.  Parents need to take a “No Wimpy Parenting” approach and just tell it like it is.

 

• When kids are younger, it’s appropriate to have the “sex talk” and stick to the basics.  As kids get older, parents need to expand the discussion and talk about STD’s and Pregnancy, Sexual abuse and Date Rape, and “Sexting”/Inappropriate online sexual activity
• You must practice your game face!  Teens will run from the room if you get embarrassed and stammer and blush when you discuss sex.  Know that your child or teen may confess something to you or ask you a question that will make you blush to the tips of your toes.  It’s not a bad idea to practice having a relaxed and matter of fact talk with your teens before you attempt it in real life. (Seriously, stand in front of your mirror and practice having a discussion with your teen about sex.  Or talk with your spouse about what you will say when you are faced with an unnerving question).
• Timing is everything!  It’s often a good idea to initiate a discussion about sex when you and your teen are driving somewhere or engaged in a “hands on” activity.  It is NOT advised to sit your teen down in the formal living room face to face and say, “Soooooo, we need to talk.”  That will guarantee your teen will be mapping out the escape route before you’ve even opened your mouth for the next sentence. If your teen spontaneously asks you a question about sex, stay calm and say, “I’m glad you came to me with that question” (try to quickly collect your thoughts as you say that).
• Don’t pat yourself on the back after having a sex talk one time.  You’ll need to revisit the topic(s) again and again.  As kids get older, they will be developmentally ready for more details and hard “facts.”
• Don’t stop short – make sure to discuss your family and religious values as they relate to premarital sex.  Yes we all hear the statistics about teens and sex.  But there ARE kids and teens who are raised in homes in which the values are to wait until marriage to have sex.  That is still a reality for some kids/teens and parents need to make sure to explain WHY those values are important to the family.